I'm alive... I think... also quite a bit of reading (sorry)

Life has been great as of late. Nay, God has been great. A few things have happened in the past weeks where God has been breaking me down. In preaching for one and in other situations also. We are finishing up the book of Job in our church services just about to the end where God shows himself to Job and his greatness and infinite wisdom. Job confesses his vileness and God's supremacy and sheds his pride. It has been something that I have needed. God reminded me that I am vile and that I am just a sinner saved by grace. The breaking process can be painful but it is a great feeling to have a friend so close to console you, comfort you and sing you songs of deliverance.

The reason for the title is the fact that I could not find my birth certificate. Still have not and may never. I had to order a new one. But for what reason, you ask, do you need your birth certificate? For my passport. I am trying to get things rolling for my passport so that I can have it before the middle of May. I am planning on going with Bearing Precious Seed ministries to Ciudad Juarez, Mexico and I need a passport to go to Mexico. I found out about this trip from a newsletter from Chick Publications. I am very excited. Juarez Mexico is a mess, over 2 million people in one of the most dangerous places on earth. At least 8 people a day are reported killed. Drugs run rampant as well as gangs. But the real heart of the problem is sin. They are without God and without hope and through this campaign I hope that things will change. We, should God allow me to make it, will be passing out half a million Spanish John and Romans. After each of the five days we'll be there, there will be a message preached in a public place to the people of Juarez. It's going to be work, it's going to be different and, perhaps, in some cases, uncomfortable but it would be worth it to see even one soul saved. Pray for these people who are going, the hosting church, Valley Baptist in el Paso, TX and the people of Juarez. Please pray for me too because I can see that it is going to be a fight to get there, against the flesh and other circumstances.


I am pretty sure that I have needed something like this for a long time. I have seen my heart get hard toward missions and souls. I once had no greater desire than to be a missionary. That was my goal. But I allowed myself to get cold and let the world get a hold of me. I dabbled with this and that and there were periods of fervency and then frigidness making for an overall of lukewarm but my biggest problem was that I lost my vision. And without a vision the people perish. Lately God has been working on me and reminding me that there is an eternity where people will spend in one of two places and the majority will not be in heaven but in the darkness of hell. I have a certain friend who claims to be an atheist and it has been one of the millstones that has been breaking me down. I see the sadness that he lives with and his hoplessness. These things bother me and bring me to tears. But then I think about a whole world filled with people who have a lack of hope that there are people everywhere who need Christ. And others who have never heard about God or Jesus, ones who live in bondage trying desperately to please the spirits and gods of their culture, the gods and spirits who do not care for them but hate them, the ones that use and abuse people. I would that God would give me a courage and hope to reach more and more souls, to see liberty brought to the captives before his short return. Pray for me as I am but flesh and most likely will become distracted with this or that once again.


I guess I will fall on the grace of God. I will see what he does. I am excited because lately it seems I have started a new route in life, we'll see where God takes me. I have been falling in love with my saviour again, and with good reason. He's so lovely. He's so kind. He's a friend who loves with a holy love. His mercies are new every morning. He gives me peace and strength. He sings songs to my heart to lift me up. He is my all. I love him. I owe him all, for that is the only reasonable thing I can give.


Scripture to ponder:
Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

27 And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.
...
33 So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.

What is your life?

What is the point of life? Are we aimlessly stumbling around to obtain a good job, a spouse, a nice home and a handful of kids? To have our little niche in the world where you go to church and have your happy little family? Where you go out day after day to your workplace to maintain your cozy little nook in the world? Or is there perhaps a higher calling? One where you are sent out to live a life of basics and sacrifice so that others can hear the gospel. A life where your little nook is constantly challenged. About whether or not you can live well, let alone comfortably. Where health is sometimes out of grasp. A life that is lived on your knees. This life is not lived for ourselves but first God and then others. It is a life lived this way so that the cause of Christ rings loudly and clearly. When others see this life lived they are taken back at the way God uses you and the grace he shows you. This life is that of a christian- he who gives all he has with all his might to obtain something that cannot be lost. This is the life that I want to live. Whether I have just a hammock in the jungle, an apartment in the city or a box on the street, I would that my all is given to Christ.